Could this be the greatest piece of football writing yet?
According to the Zimbabwe Daily article published by Isabel Panangara, Zimbabwe has become known for something else that has not been connected to Mugabe and the Zimbabwe Political Crisis. It involves Football and the Zimbabwe Football Association or ZIMA by its initials. The protagonists of this latest crisis to hit Zimbabwe have been Henrietta Rushwaya [Chief Executive Officer of the Zimbabwe Football Association] and some of the players Harrington Shereni, Ciphers Chimdeza, and Benjani Mwaruwari. The crisis has reached to the point that Zimbabwe may not qualify for international tournaments.
Nothing unusual here. Zimbabwean football is in some sort of crisis due to problems existing between the bureaucracy of the Football Association and some of the leading players (including the deliciously named Ciphers Chimdeza!). We are all too used to this sort of thing in Ireland. So, what exactly is the problem in Zimbabwe then?
The Chief Executive Officer of ZIMA; Henrietta Rushwaya apparently has been having an increase in sexual hormones with Shereni, Chimdeza, and Mwaruwari. Ms. Rushwaya has even talked with the coach of Jose Claudinei Valinhos and managed to "obtain" permission for the sexual escapades with the three players in different areas of Harare such as the Holiday Inn and Crowne Plaza Hotels. The Holiday Inn and Crown Plaza Hotels [in Harare, Zimbabwe] refused to make any comments about the sexual adventures and also hung up the phone.
[...]
The member of the inner elite of ZIMA protested about how unfair that the football team [also known as the Warriors] has had to take second place to the sexual excesses of the Chief Executive Officer. The conversation was brief because again the lines of communications were cut off. The underwriter wandered how Jose Claudinei Valinhos can coach the Warriors with all of these problems of excess hormones of a Chief Executive Officer ... The underwriter personally thinks that the ZIMA Sex Scandal is a disgrace that has demoralized the Zimbabwean National Football Team and the nation at large.
One would have thought that this sort of thing would be good for morale. Perhaps it's an exclusivity thing, and the rest of the squad do not like to be left out? After all, the ZimDaily reports of Rushwaya that: '[She] is known for being generous with her body and numerous scribes have had a go.' It also adds that when Rushwaya got the gig as CEO, she 'went into camp for almost three months at the Crowne plaza where most renowned male vultures close to her had a feast.'
And I thought everybody was going hungry in Zimbabwe...
According to the Zimbabwe Daily article published by Isabel Panangara, Zimbabwe has become known for something else that has not been connected to Mugabe and the Zimbabwe Political Crisis. It involves Football and the Zimbabwe Football Association or ZIMA by its initials. The protagonists of this latest crisis to hit Zimbabwe have been Henrietta Rushwaya [Chief Executive Officer of the Zimbabwe Football Association] and some of the players Harrington Shereni, Ciphers Chimdeza, and Benjani Mwaruwari. The crisis has reached to the point that Zimbabwe may not qualify for international tournaments.
Nothing unusual here. Zimbabwean football is in some sort of crisis due to problems existing between the bureaucracy of the Football Association and some of the leading players (including the deliciously named Ciphers Chimdeza!). We are all too used to this sort of thing in Ireland. So, what exactly is the problem in Zimbabwe then?
The Chief Executive Officer of ZIMA; Henrietta Rushwaya apparently has been having an increase in sexual hormones with Shereni, Chimdeza, and Mwaruwari. Ms. Rushwaya has even talked with the coach of Jose Claudinei Valinhos and managed to "obtain" permission for the sexual escapades with the three players in different areas of Harare such as the Holiday Inn and Crowne Plaza Hotels. The Holiday Inn and Crown Plaza Hotels [in Harare, Zimbabwe] refused to make any comments about the sexual adventures and also hung up the phone.
[...]
The member of the inner elite of ZIMA protested about how unfair that the football team [also known as the Warriors] has had to take second place to the sexual excesses of the Chief Executive Officer. The conversation was brief because again the lines of communications were cut off. The underwriter wandered how Jose Claudinei Valinhos can coach the Warriors with all of these problems of excess hormones of a Chief Executive Officer ... The underwriter personally thinks that the ZIMA Sex Scandal is a disgrace that has demoralized the Zimbabwean National Football Team and the nation at large.
One would have thought that this sort of thing would be good for morale. Perhaps it's an exclusivity thing, and the rest of the squad do not like to be left out? After all, the ZimDaily reports of Rushwaya that: '[She] is known for being generous with her body and numerous scribes have had a go.' It also adds that when Rushwaya got the gig as CEO, she 'went into camp for almost three months at the Crowne plaza where most renowned male vultures close to her had a feast.'
And I thought everybody was going hungry in Zimbabwe...
6 comments:
I've seen pictures of her and you wouldn't for a million Zimbabwe dollars...or three cent, whichever currency you prefer.
Perhaps that's it - it's just the easiest way to pay the highest earners in the current economic climate?
How about John Delaney - would you?
If Ireland qualify for the World Cup and we find ourselves in the same hot and sticky South African hotel, both of us lonely soles miles from home (Waterford) and the lighting was right...nope.
Embarrassing that I spelt "souls" as "soles".
No wonder nobody checks out my blog.
I was going to comment that there was something fishy about your remark, but I let it go. Thought it was better left unsaid. There's enough codding going here already. Does that plaicate you?
(I'll get my coat...)
This could spawn a few responses...
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