A Dangerous Precedent

As has been reported in a number of places, St. Pats' midfielder Michael Keane was 'sacked for being too fat.' Keane was one of the club's highest earners, and had apparently been issued with an ultimatum earlier in the season regarding his physical condition, which he chose to disregard. Evidently the pull of a good meat pie was more appealing than that of playing at a (probably) windswept Dalymount Park.

This decision is nothing short of a disgrace. For many years now, larger athletes have brought excitement, skill, and no little girth to top level sport (and also to substandard sport). Surely there is something to be celebrated in the man who eschews training sessions in favour of pints, the local nightclub, and a kebab, and can still maintain a high level of sporting performance the following day? With that in mind, let's review the achievements of some true sporting icons who did not conform to the tyranny of regular training sessions, healthy diet, and a general concern for the wellbeing of their teams.

Nigel Mansell, Formula One:

Type the words 'Nigel+Mansell+Fat+McLaren' into google and it helpfully suggests that perhaps you meant 'Nigel+Mansell+Fast+McLaren.' No sir, that is not what I meant at all. Mansell is one of the all time great Grand Prix drivers, boasting one World Championship (1992) and 31 career wins. However, the real reason for Mansell's inclusion on this list is his impressive girth which meant that he was unable to fit into his 1995 McLaren. To embarrassment all round, the car had to be redesigned to accommodate his posterior. Still, that's star value for you. You can't tell a man with such a distinguished track record to lose weight now, can you?

Ferenc Puskas, Football:

Puskas, known as the 'Galloping Major', is one of the all-time great footballers, who played for two of the most accomplished teams ever assembled: the Hungarian team of the early 1950s which won the Olympics in 1952 and were World Cup finalists in 1954, and also the Read Madrid team which beat Eintracht Frankfurt 7-3 in the European Cup final of 1960. Make no mistake, Puskas was fat. When the Hungarian team showed up to train at Wembley in advance of their game with England in 1953, a number of the home team's players, not knowing who Puskas was, laughed at 'the little fat chap.' Of course, Puskas went on to orchestrate England's demolition (6-3, then 7-1 in the return game) and became one of the dominant footballers for the next decade. Point is, if you're good enough, who needs to stay in shape?

Jan Ullrich, cycling:

Jan Ullrich won the Tour de France in 1997, and finished second five times. His career achievements would have been greater were it not for the dominance of Lance Armstrong. Ullrich had chronic issues with his weight throughout his career, and used to starve himself in advance of big events to reach his desired weight. None of this sensible training malarkey for him. Ullrich's attitude to his own physical condition was admirable. His explanation of a failed (out of competition) drugs test in 2002 was that he had gone out on the batter and taken two ecstasy pills. Nothing performance enhancing going on here, folks.

Babe Ruth, baseball:

The Bambino was not only one of the greatest players in the history of the sport, but he also utterly transformed the way the game was played, hitting unprecedented numbers of home runs in the 1920s, and bringing huge crowds through the turnstiles. Ruth was arguably the first sporting celebrity. His success was based on excess. Ruth's physique was hardly that of the elite athlete, and the stories of his binging are legendary. One has it that he once ate twenty four hot dogs between games of a double-header. On a train ride in April 1925, Ruth blacked out, having gorged himself on up to eighteen hot dogs, and later wound up in hospital. Some accounts have attributed the latter to gonorrhea, but whichever way you look at it, the man knew how to enjoy himself, while becoming a sporting icon at the same time.

John Daly, golf:

Daly was one of the top golfers of his day, but his career is more remarkable for his attitude to diet. He regularly smoked two packets of cigarettes a day, scoffed innumerable packets of M+Ms, made endless trips to McDonalds, and knew how to put away a beer or two into the bargain. For all this, Daly has managed five PGA tour wins, including the British Open in 1995. Kudos.

I could go on here, but the point should be clear. There has always been a place for those with a more 'liberal' attitude to their personal condition to thrive in elite sports. Unless it is something which adversely affects one's performance, weight and conditioning should not be an issue. For example, see the way the media routinely trots out the terms 'burly', 'unorthodox' and 'hefty' when describing Sunderland and Ireland midfielder Andy Reid. Sure, he looks a little different from many footballers [I attribute this to his ... uh ... dynamism] but when you are the best player at your club, snide comments should cease. Andy Reid is pulling his [considerable] weight for Sunderland.

Weightier athletes bring a lot to the sporting world. A lot of pies, burgers, hot dogs, booze, and of course, a lot of M+Ms. And for that, the sporting world is undoubtedly a healthier place. If sport occasionally emulates art, and if art imitates life, then it stands to reason that sport should imitate life, and life is, as we know, all about pie consumption. St. Patrick's Athletic should be ashamed of themselves for setting this dangerous precedent in sacking Michael Keane.